mody-kun wrote:I have a family problem which might be the reason why my dreams will vanish, and my life will be completely destroyed

can't say more than that, but pray for me people please

Keep trying, if something is holding you back then drop it, wether it is family or whatever, it does not matter, I've had so many friends that have quit their dreams because a family member tells them to, do what YOU want.

To everyone:

I know a lot of the members in the forum are young, most under 18, so here goes the advice I've applied in the past 3 years and how happy i've been living.

1) If you dont like something, dont do things that will get you around that thing you dislike, sounds easy enough right? Well the trick is in where you apply it, to me, I dislike drama very much, I hate when people just get pissed for no reason, start to annoy me and the such, so what do I do? I leave the room where they are, I just avoid the situation completely, you got annoyed by something and start saying degrading coments about me or start making fun of me? cool, have fun without me, I rather be at a place I enjoy being, such as my house, another friends house, wherever, just avoid the situation.

2) You feel offended? Say it. Countless times will your friends put you nicknames because you do/eat/say something, if any of these nicknames hurt you for whatever reason, just freaking say it, it will save you YEARS of awkwardness and embarassment because you are called that way, if they dont stop after you've said it hurts you, then you should be looking into making new friends.

3) The people you hang out with the most are not necesarilly your best friends, look deeper, would you trust them with something important? Would they help you in a very difficult situation or would they laugh at you? Dont judge a book by its cover, I met my best friend at my last year of high school after being in the same class for 4 years and wasted 4 years of awesomeness that could've happened, I made poor choices when I was young and was an idiot, I've learned from my mistakes and now I judge absolutely nobody.

4) Pick a career that you like and are passionate about, dont study something because it will bring you money or because any of your family members did it, I studied computer science because my dad was an engineer and I hated, I wouldnt say I wasted 2 years of my life because I learned a lot in university but I wish I had chosen the right career for what I wanted and not tried to do what my dad did.

5) Make as many friends or acquaintances as you can, you never know when they might need someone with your skills and it can lead to you knowing more people or even getting a job!

6) Be curious, I have lived many years without even caring about anything, just living the day, letting it pass by without me learning anything, I now ask plenty of questions to my friends about their culture, their religion, their customs and things that I do not do and would love to know more about, I do research on the internet about things that interest me, my favorite bands, new bands that I stumble upon while listening to the radio, big idols and important people that have changed the world, etc.

7) If you like someone or you think they look good, say it. You'll brighten their day and it will make them feel better.

These are all from my own personal experiences and are things I wished I knew when I was younger.

The only trouble I have is I need more time, it is not that I can't manage my time... But I want to go to places and sadly, 24 hours in a day just ain't enough. If only flying to Japan and back didn't take the better part of 3 days... damned engineers, figure out a way to get from one side of the planet to the other in a faster way...

My major problems are:

1.I dont have friends, im shy, and have no social skills
2. I cant find time to finally start doing my comics
3.Im so lazy,
4.My mother makes me feel ugly everytime she talks about the other girls of my age she had everyday saw, I hate that feeling, its just, isnt me anymore.... i dont want to feel insecured

@Pedobear50
If that is you in your avatar you are not the slightest bit ugly !
I am afraid confidence only comes to most people with age, I was really shy when I was your age but then I joined a band and it cured me !

Pedobear50 wrote:My major problems are:

1.I dont have friends, im shy, and have no social skills
2. I cant find time to finally start doing my comics
3.Im so lazy,
4.My mother makes me feel ugly everytime she talks about the other girls of my age she had everyday saw, I hate that feeling, its just, isnt me anymore.... i dont want to feel insecured

Your DON"T have friends your shy you have NO social skills your implying that yourself... you are MAKING yourself like that... what you need to do is to say I HAVE friends I HAVE GREAT social Skills!
Its simple as that...
If you stop being shy and have the initiative to talk to people you'll get friends trust me on that!

Time management is what you need if you CAN"T find time to do your comics or whatever you want to do
Tell yourself I'm NOT lazy... and so denying the ability in yourself

And if your mum makes you feel ugly tell HER! My mum does it all the time, pointing at my pimples, my height how I'm dressing and do I do? Just laugh it off... be happy to be yourself and be happy with who you are currently, Better things are coming you just need open your eyes.... .cool.

NathanielG wrote:The only trouble I have is I need more time, it is not that I can't manage my time... But I want to go to places and sadly, 24 hours in a day just ain't enough. If only flying to Japan and back didn't take the better part of 3 days... damned engineers, figure out a way to get from one side of the planet to the other in a faster way...

If that's the case, you should start to narrow down what's more important compared to the others. .clap.

Pedobear50 wrote:My major problems are:

1.I dont have friends, im shy, and have no social skills
2. I cant find time to finally start doing my comics
3.Im so lazy,
4.My mother makes me feel ugly everytime she talks about the other girls of my age she had everyday saw, I hate that feeling, its just, isnt me anymore.... i dont want to feel insecured

I'll tell you this: " The secret of being special, is to believe that you are special". About your mom, Well, to be honest I've felt much more worse than that. At age of 7 I was practically abandoned by my parents, they both work so they don't have time for me. And the other reasons were that my sister was a born genius with 149 IQ. My sister had everything I ever wanted. at age of 16 I finally told my self that I'm special. Out of billions of sperm cell (a little bit of bio lecture here) I'm able to survive and born, how could I be not special? and starting from than everything seems to be more bright and move on my favor. I'm in good terms with my parents now. The conclusion here is be positive, do what you like the most and stick to it. Hope it helps.

u no wat pisses me off the most, kids r well scared of me, cos im disable and i cant walk and and stand properly, the kids will always look at my legs and b scared, once my mum friends had a wedding and one of the kid from her husbands side of the family was so dam scared of my legs that she would never b in the same room as me.

and the other thing is that my cousin is like 3 years old and me, him and my sister normally chill 2getther, the worse thing is that at times he asks me 2 pick him up and i will always reply i cant cos i gonna hurt, but im worried that if i did pick him up im gonna loose my balance and drop and his gonna hurt.

amz7250 wrote:u no wat pisses me off the most, kids r well scared of me, cos im disable and i cant walk and and stand properly, the kids will always look at my legs and b scared, once my mum friends had a wedding and one of the kid from her husbands side of the family was so dam scared of my legs that she would never b in the same room as me.

and the other thing is that my cousin is like 3 years old and me, him and my sister normally chill 2getther, the worse thing is that at times he asks me 2 pick him up and i will always reply i cant cos i gonna hurt, but im worried that if i did pick him up im gonna loose my balance and drop and his gonna hurt.

Oh, wow. I am at lost of words. Well, chill out mate, they are kids, so no wonder that they'll scared of every little things. They'll grow up and mature, so relax and chill out. be a friendly guy.

Not sure if this is the right place to post.

Recently I started to jam with my friends and I am the drummer in the group. Unfortunately, I am not good at it and it seems my leg is not really "controllable". I am not sure if it because they are weak or simply because I need more practice. Anyway, it is rather disappointing to not be able to play it well, especially when I need my friends to accommodate me.

Sigh, need to work on it more I guess...

Well, with practice and patience comes perfection. Everyone is a genius at something if they stick to it long enough. Keep trying mate !

My friend is gonna have a formal party. And there will be a portion where 7 couples will dance, and she partnered me up with my ex. Only because we are her 2 closest friends... I think it's gonna be awkward since I haven't talked with my ex for the past 3 months.. I don't know...

Licht09 wrote:My friend is gonna have a formal party. And there will be a portion where 7 couples will dance, and she partnered me up with my ex. Only because we are her 2 closest friends... I think it's gonna be awkward since I haven't talked with my ex for the past 3 months.. I don't know...

I smell a set up here.

They might be doing it on purposes so that you can reconcile or maybe back together again. Just my hypothesis though. But hey, just stay cool and be yourself.

Ferdinand wrote:

Licht09 wrote:My friend is gonna have a formal party. And there will be a portion where 7 couples will dance, and she partnered me up with my ex. Only because we are her 2 closest friends... I think it's gonna be awkward since I haven't talked with my ex for the past 3 months.. I don't know...

I smell a set up here.

They might be doing it on purposes so that you can reconcile or maybe back together again. Just my hypothesis though. But hey, just stay cool and be yourself.

That's my initial reaction too!
I think I'll just see how things turn out..

Got some communication problems with my parents.. This issue has been a problem ever since when i was very young.. My parents are your typical chinese traditional parents with wayback traditional child-raising methods. Though I could understand their position, they are really getting on my nerves every single time they tried to initiate a "friendly" conversation but ends up turning into one way talk where they just blast every single mistakes I made in the past. The worst part is that they always think that I'm playing games on my laptop most of the times. I admit that I USED to be a game addict but that was in the past. They never even bother find out if Im actually doing work/research or playing games. They always love to say things like "You are not my son anymore" "Your friends are shitty bunch and you still listen to them?!" "You are nothing but a piece of crap" Really, they had forced me to hide all my emotions deep into myself. Now? I don't know what emotions I'm actually showing already.. I could be smiling but deep down, I could be frustrated or angry.. I could be frowning but deep down, I could be hoping or happy.. I dont know how to handle my parents anymore.. I want to move out but most of my life was directed by them so much that I dont have much personal info to myself.. What should I do?

On a side note, SCANDAL is the band that actually let me display out my happiness.. So, SCANDAL, どもありがと！

@HirumaKyo
That is hard !
My wife comes from a very traditional Indian Hindu family and her patent's were just the same.
My Parent's never once said they were proud of me so I have tried hard to be different with my 3 kids.
Sure they make me mad at times but I always try to be there for them and encourage them.
It is probably too late for your Parent's to change now, but remember not to make the same mistakes with your kids !

But remember they do care about you, they just have a funny way of showing it.

Licht09 wrote:
That's my initial reaction too!
I think I'll just see how things turn out..

Well, please do tell us (I'm curious about what it will turns out to be). Keep your cool mate!

HirumaKyo wrote:Got some communication problems with my parents.. This issue has been a problem ever since when i was very young.. My parents are your typical chinese traditional parents with wayback traditional child-raising methods. Though I could understand their position, they are really getting on my nerves every single time they tried to initiate a "friendly" conversation but ends up turning into one way talk where they just blast every single mistakes I made in the past. The worst part is that they always think that I'm playing games on my laptop most of the times. I admit that I USED to be a game addict but that was in the past. They never even bother find out if Im actually doing work/research or playing games. They always love to say things like "You are not my son anymore" "Your friends are shitty bunch and you still listen to them?!" "You are nothing but a piece of crap" Really, they had forced me to hide all my emotions deep into myself. Now? I don't know what emotions I'm actually showing already.. I could be smiling but deep down, I could be frustrated or angry.. I could be frowning but deep down, I could be hoping or happy.. I dont know how to handle my parents anymore.. I want to move out but most of my life was directed by them so much that I dont have much personal info to myself.. What should I do?

On a side note, SCANDAL is the band that actually let me display out my happiness.. So, SCANDAL, どもありがと！

I have been into your shoes too (though it's my uncles and aunts instead of my parents). The trick here is play it cool, listen to them about whatever they want to sprout keep the good advices and throw away or forget the bad or unsuitable advices. In front of your parents listen to their yaps, but you know that it wasn't true isn't it? don't let it bother you too much, do what you think is the right thing to do.

Got some communication problems with my parents.. This issue has been a
problem ever since when i was very young.. My parents are your typical
chinese traditional parents with wayback traditional child-raising
methods. Though I could understand their position, they are really
getting on my nerves every single time they tried to initiate a
"friendly" conversation but ends up turning into one way talk where they
just blast every single mistakes I made in the past. The worst part is
that they always think that I'm playing games on my laptop most of the
times. I admit that I USED to be a game addict but that was in the past.
They never even bother find out if Im actually doing work/research or
playing games. They always love to say things like "You are not my son
anymore" "Your friends are shitty bunch and you still listen to them?!"
"You are nothing but a piece of crap" Really, they had forced me to hide
all my emotions deep into myself. Now? I don't know what emotions I'm
actually showing already.. I could be smiling but deep down, I could be
frustrated or angry.. I could be frowning but deep down, I could be
hoping or happy.. I dont know how to handle my parents anymore.. I want
to move out but most of my life was directed by them so much that I dont
have much personal info to myself.. What should I do?

i don't know much about it. but thats what my mom is telling me all the day. just listen to them. i'm chinees so i know what your parents are. the same goes about my mom. if the conversation is turning into a fight just say nothing and listen after a while they will finaly shut their mouth. and ps just make some homework and let them see what ya did. and if they ask about youre friends. that they are shitheads. just say. So you want that i make new friends. those who steal cars. dealing drugs . etc.

Pedobear50 wrote:My major problems are:

1.I dont have friends, im shy, and have no social skills
2. I cant find time to finally start doing my comics
3.Im so lazy,
4.My mother makes me feel ugly everytime she talks about the other girls of my age she had everyday saw, I hate that feeling, its just, isnt me anymore.... i dont want to feel insecured

Ayte fam, u say ur shy right I can help with that The key thing is just smile, wave or say hi 2 anyone trust me The will respond back, I was like I was really shy and I asked my teacher how can I improve on my confident and he just smile, wave or say hi, I did that it really worked, it was tnxs 2 that I was able 2 make so many friends and my confident grew, iv been hlping out a member here with same problem and I got a message from him saying that he tryed it and eveyone responded 2 him,

Ok here is my major problem, Im always thinking about it, I have my dream is 2 to Japan and create an anime and get scandal 2 do The first opening, but The problem is my family its just they wouldnt like that, but then even if I didnt care wat they say Im worried about it my self, u c im disable and iv been having problems after problem and its 2 stoping and also The fact that I have alot of medical things 2 take its just 2 much, wat Im worried about is that I No I wont b able 2 handle it Im gonna have problem, but I just dont 2 belive that but I No thats The truth, iv always been practising but at The same time always worried if could Do it, this is something I really want 2 do and I will practise as hard as I can 2 achive it but The fact is it is going 2 b hard 4 me 2 achieve my dream

Ferdinand wrote:I have been into your shoes too (though it's my uncles and aunts instead of my parents). The trick here is play it cool, listen to them about whatever they want to sprout keep the good advices and throw away or forget the bad or unsuitable advices. In front of your parents listen to their yaps, but you know that it wasn't true isn't it? don't let it bother you too much, do what you think is the right thing to do.

Well, thats what I'm trying to do now.. Though its hard to keep a cool head around them, I will see if eventually I could have completely cool around them.. thanks..

chongyip wrote:i don't know much about it. but thats what my mom is telling me all the day. just listen to them. i'm chinees so i know what your parents are. the same goes about my mom. if the conversation is turning into a fight just say nothing and listen after a while they will finaly shut their mouth. and ps just make some homework and let them see what ya did. and if they ask about youre friends. that they are shitheads. just say. So you want that i make new friends. those who steal cars. dealing drugs . etc.

well, i could do that(just say nothing and listen).. problem is that they always loved to use my laptop as a hostage to force me to talk to them.. they are quite abnormal in their heads..

So.... I've been playing piano for the last 5-6 years but I would say I haven't practised enough to be THAT good, but I've realised that recently whenever I go to my piano class my confidence to play right. Has just vanished I mean, I get so tensed I can't even play what I practised at home correctly... and with that I my legs start shaking. I mean this shouldn't happen with a lady who has taught me for the last 4 years I've known her. I know confidence is the essence but how? Do I need go to a far extend and play infront of people to gain confidence?!

A recent episode started with me going to class yesterday and I could not play contrary motion properly then my pieces which I couldn't even play a line properly without falling into pieces. Even at home I can play contrary without practise what so ever without that many mistakes... I just feel I can't play my practise when ever I go to my classes. Maybe its me, but I think my teacher feels like I haven't practised that much even though I have.... and when she asks have I practised I said yes... but to her it seemed like a lie?


Has anyone gone through this? Does it happen whilst you learn an instrument?

bleachnlife wrote:So.... I've been playing piano for the last 5-6 years but I would say I haven't practised enough to be THAT good, but I've realised that recently whenever I go to my piano class my confidence to play right. Has just vanished I mean, I get so tensed I can't even play what I practised at home correctly... and with that I my legs start shaking. I mean this shouldn't happen with a lady who has taught me for the last 4 years I've known her. I know confidence is the essence but how? Do I need go to a far extend and play infront of people to gain confidence?!

A recent episode started with me going to class yesterday and I could not play contrary motion properly then my pieces which I couldn't even play a line properly without falling into pieces. Even at home I can play contrary without practise what so ever without that many mistakes... I just feel I can't play my practise when ever I go to my classes. Maybe its me, but I think my teacher feels like I haven't practised that much even though I have.... and when she asks have I practised I said yes... but to her it seemed like a lie?


Has anyone gone through this? Does it happen whilst you learn an instrument?

yup..it happened to me before..i also play piano but not that good..i think it's just the pressure of the people around you..one day, my friend and i were asked to play in a mini conference..i didn't do good at my first song..but when i saw my professor smiling when i was playing..all the nervousness that i got were replaced with excitement and confidence..thanks to my professor's smile i got through with my second and third piece nicely..
i think it's the expectations of the people around us that keeps us nervous..but if you think of one thing that makes you happy..you will gain confidence and the pressure around you will not matter anymore

amz7250 wrote:
Ok here is my major problem, Im always thinking about it, I have my dream is 2 to Japan and create an anime and get scandal 2 do The first opening, but The problem is my family its just they wouldnt like that, but then even if I didnt care wat they say Im worried about it my self, u c im disable and iv been having problems after problem and its 2 stoping and also The fact that I have alot of medical things 2 take its just 2 much, wat Im worried about is that I No I wont b able 2 handle it Im gonna have problem, but I just dont 2 belive that but I No thats The truth, iv always been practising but at The same time always worried if could Do it, this is something I really want 2 do and I will practise as hard as I can 2 achive it but The fact is it is going 2 b hard 4 me 2 achieve my dream

I can sense frustration from your choice of words and sentences. Well, dreams are something that are hard to achieve aren't they? if it's something easy, it wouldn't be called "dreams". Everyone have different problems in terms of reaching their dreams, it's those who managed to overcomes those problems and obstacles that are able to reach their dreams. If you truly want to achieve your dream, work hard for it; stop counting on your problems and start doing some changes towards your way to reach your dream.

my teacher is trying to break me and my best friend's bond because my bff got a low grade and my teacher thought its because of me... .wtf. we tried to explain that i was not the reason of bff1's low grades but our teacher didnt believe us.... i miss my best friend !!! .waaa.

kyoharu03 wrote:

bleachnlife wrote:So.... I've been playing piano for the last 5-6 years but I would say I haven't practised enough to be THAT good, but I've realised that recently whenever I go to my piano class my confidence to play right. Has just vanished I mean, I get so tensed I can't even play what I practised at home correctly... and with that I my legs start shaking. I mean this shouldn't happen with a lady who has taught me for the last 4 years I've known her. I know confidence is the essence but how? Do I need go to a far extend and play infront of people to gain confidence?!

A recent episode started with me going to class yesterday and I could not play contrary motion properly then my pieces which I couldn't even play a line properly without falling into pieces. Even at home I can play contrary without practise what so ever without that many mistakes... I just feel I can't play my practise when ever I go to my classes. Maybe its me, but I think my teacher feels like I haven't practised that much even though I have.... and when she asks have I practised I said yes... but to her it seemed like a lie?


Has anyone gone through this? Does it happen whilst you learn an instrument?

yup..it happened to me before..i also play piano but not that good..i think it's just the pressure of the people around you..one day, my friend and i were asked to play in a mini conference..i didn't do good at my first song..but when i saw my professor smiling when i was playing..all the nervousness that i got were replaced with excitement and confidence..thanks to my professor's smile i got through with my second and third piece nicely..
i think it's the expectations of the people around us that keeps us nervous..but if you think of one thing that makes you happy..you will gain confidence and the pressure around you will not matter anymore

I agree with kyoharu. After playing for a few years, you start to feel as if you need to play perfectly or nearly perfect to meet the expectations others have for you, which causes you to become nervous and make more mistakes. I think you may be losing your confidence because of that pressure. I started feeling that pressure just playing in front of my family or friends but then I began to think "even professional musicians make mistakes, so it's okay for me to make mistakes as long as I try my best." As for your teacher not believing that you have practiced enough, I would think that a music teacher would know that some students start freezing up or making more mistakes because they start feeling the pressure of others expectations. Maybe you could explain that to her.

animeloverme wrote:my teacher is trying to break me and my best friend's bond because my bff got a low grade and my teacher thought its because of me... .wtf. we tried to explain that i was not the reason of bff1's low grades but our teacher didnt believe us.... i miss my best friend !!! .waaa.

Fam, ur teacher cant say F all, tell ur teacher and wat ill chill who I wanna chill with he/she cant tell who u should chill with, he/she aint ur patent, but ur mates grade is low then do some revision